You must go home again

Last Sunday I was at my "home" church.  We were celebrating 90 years of faithful ministry.  A part of those 90 years were spent investing in me.  I was only 6 months old when my family joined the church.  After I graduated from High School I was so eager to break the shackles of childhood and strike out on my own that I pretty much never looked back.  I didn't appreciate the contribution those good people made to my life. 

The years slipped by quickly.  Went to college, married the love of my life, kid, career, more school, another kid, new career.  It was mostly all, up and away.  Then, everything changed. 

Dad had his first heart attack and then a stroke, my nephew passed away, then my dad passed away.  I began to feel something my younger self would not have believed possible... a tug on my heart from the past inviting me home.  In all those years I had hardly been back. 

It wasn't long before I found myself making what I can only call a pilgrimage to a community and church that so formed and informed my growing up.  I wasn't prepared for the emotional impact of that visit.  I remember sitting at the beach for hours and feeling a profound sense of loss.  I drove by all the old haunts, houses, and hang outs.  I drove past my old church building.  It had been reduced to rubble, literally.  I snatched a chunk and it sits in my office today.  It became my little piece of "home" as I returned to my busy life in the Midwest and closed the door on those strange feelings.

  

Then things changed more... My sister got cancer, my daughter went off to college, God called me away from a church I loved to move back to the Northwest, my mom got sick, my son went to college, mom stopped remembering who I was, my sister died. My family was gone.  

It is a very strange thing to consider that you are the only one who remembers your childhood.  There is no one left who remembers my childhood Christmases, or that great vacation to Disneyland or the cross country trip with the dog that got into a skunk.  

Because of the nature of my career lots of people know who I am now, but almost no one remembers how I became that person.  Turns out remembering is important.

  

Like I said, last weekend I was with the dear people of that church.  They are in a different building, new folks have come and lots have gone.  But for a few hours on Sunday some of us were together again and they did a very comforting thing... they told stories.  Telling stories is the best way to remember.   We laughed, I cried, and most of all I was with people who remembered the early chapters of my story. 

The three hour drive home was very strange.  On the one hand I was sad that dad, mom and my sister could not be there.  I am all that is left of my family.  This wasn't supposed to happen at my age.  On the other hand I found being with people who so deeply molded my early life to be very grounding.  These are the people that will forever remember the stupid things I did as a kid.  The mistakes that I wish no one remembered and yet feel comfort that someone does remember.  They have stories that cause me embarrassment and know secrets that put me in a bad light.  These people know, to quote scripture "The sins of my youth" and they loved me anyway.  They remind me of 1 Peter 4:8 "Love covers a multitude of sins." 

I've always heard it said you can't go home again.  I get what they mean but I'm wondering if there is a sense in which we all must go home at some point.  We all need people who remember and I mean remember the stuff you wish they would forget.  There is something comforting and reassuring about people who love you warts and all.  

That little church doesn't look like much on the outside.  It has never been very big and it has always struggled.   Its legacy is not measured by traditional metrics.  It really only does one thing well, it loves people and especially kids.  I was once one of those kids and Hoquiam Church of the Nazarene, I am your legacy.  I want to thank you for remembering me and I want you to know, I remember you and I will never forget.

PS -- Did I mention that more than 1/4 of the people present Sunday were kids?  Legacy! 

If you want to learn more about leaving a strong Legacy I invite you to check out our teachings series.  We are calling it "Legacy, Living for something more than yourself."

You can watch online at  
http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermon-video

Listen to audio or download a podcast at http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermons/serie/13-legacy

You can also subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. 

Sacred Trust

Sacred Trust.  These two words have become my life motto.  They capture my understanding of my most core values.  

Maybe I'm just getting old, but everywhere I look, I see that life is fragile and temporary.  It is a Sacred Trust given to us by God.  Sacred (God) Trust (We control it but don't own it) 

What does that mean in real life?

First, I've decided that all of Life is Sacred, but not all of it is religious.   I used to think life was divided into sacred and secular, but increasingly, I see that life itself is sacred.  There is something Holy about the mundane, run-of-the-mill stuff that happens all the time.  Something spiritual about even the ordinary stuff of life.  To be alive is to participate in the sacred life of God.  

Are some parts of life more intentionally sacred than others?  Sure, corporate worship services bring me into God's presence in a way that nothing else can.  Sacrificially serving others connects me with God in ways I can not explain.  I get that there are times when sacredness is obvious and almost tangible.  But I also find that when I am willing to open my spiritual eyes (harder than it sounds), I see God at work in the most commonplace chores of life. 

Second, believing that life is a Trust means that I have some responsibility.   I'm not talking about the whole -- earn your way into heaven thing.  Turns out both life and eternal life are a love gift from God. You can't earn them.  You can only graciously accept them. When I say life is a trust, I'm talking about a father giving his child a great treasure and then standing back to see what the child will do with it. 

Will they ignore it and let it decay?  Will they abuse it and destroy it?  Will they use it up selfishly on their own pleasure?  Will they be well-intentioned but unwise with it?  Or maybe they will see the gift as a trust to be carefully used for the betterment of the whole family.  Maybe they will use it to make others' lives better and provide for the ones they love.

A Trust is simply the verb form of the noun trust.  It means someone gives someone else something of great value and then trusts them to do the right thing with it.  In some ways, trust really isn't trust until it becomes a verb. 

God has put stuff in my hand and yours.  We often call those things blessings and I have been given a ton of them.  My parents left a great legacy by giving me a warm, loving, supportive home in which to grow up.  I have been blessed with a great home in my own generation with a wonderful wife and two amazing kids.  I've been given an education and lots of diverse experiences.  I've been blessed to be the leader of a really great church and a people that love me even though I'm not that cool pastor down the street.  Most of all, I've been blessed with a Spiritual life from God.  

So what has God Blessed into your life?  What gifts from your heavenly father do you hold in your hand?  I suspect He is watching with a smile and a sense of expectation, eagerly anticipating your moves.  Like all good parents, applause and praise come easily, and correction is about helping you, not harming you.  

So the question remains... If life is a Sacred Trust, and it is... what do you want to do with yours?   

If you want to learn more about leaving a strong Legacy, I invite you to check out our teachings series.  We are calling it "Legacy, Living for something more than yourself."

You can watch online at  
http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermon-video

Listen to audio or download a podcast at http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermons/serie/13-legacy

You can also subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. 

Family Legacy

Legacy is one of those things that modern culture confuses with a Will.  Don't get me wrong, a Will is a very good thing.  If you don't have one you need to get one but a Will is really a very small part of one's legacy.  

Legacy is about how you are remembered and what kind of influence you leave behind.  It's kind of like the wake of a boat.  The boat has moved on but there are still waves influencing other boats.  

It is not possible to pass through this life without impacting others.  The people most impacted are your children and grandchildren.  These little ones are watching you all the time, even when you think they aren't and they are little sponges.  Your words, actions and attitudes are all being absorbed and will one day come out through the vessel of their own lives.  

Have you ever noticed that families have tendencies?  I've met families that have been angry for generations... anger is their family legacy.  I've seen addictions past down as legacy.  In fact I've seen dysfunction of every kind passed to the next generation. 

Parents, there is no better reason to break the cycle of (fill in the blank) than to leave your children a better legacy than your parents left you.  I've witnessed the joy as a generation chooses to be the last to suffer from a bad legacy and I've seen the pain when they didn't care enough to change.  

I've also met lots of folks that passed down really great family legacies.  Multi-generational military service is one.  I've known families in which owning a successful  businesses happened in each generation.   I've know families whose legacy was medicine, or art, or music, or service or  ministry or... well you get the idea.  

So what do you want to pass to your children and grandchildren?  Here is what I know for sure.  What you live, they will do.  So you need to be intentional.  Great legacies don't just happen they are created on purpose.  

So get that Will done, it's important but even more important is getting series about your family's legacy.   

If you want to learn more about leaving a strong Legacy I invite you to check out our teachings series.  We are calling it "Legacy, Living for something more than yourself." 

You can watch online at  

http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermon-video

Listen to audio or download a podcast at http://www.marysvillenaz.org/index.php/resources/sermons/serie/13-legacy

You can also subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. 

Loneliness and Home Made Bread

I read recently that 2 out of 3 men experience chronic loneliness.  That is a startling number when you consider they are talking about a chronic condition.  I can understand experiencing occasional loneliness but chronic?  That really says something about the lives men lead.  

Before I go further I probably need to be clear that loneliness and being alone is not the same thing.  One can be around a lot of people and be lonely. (Especially men)  One can also be by them-self and not feel lonely at all.  The key difference is the presence of meaningful friendships.  I honestly think that a huge part of the problem is that we have a hard time making strong friendships.  We do the surface thing pretty well but really getting to know someone so that you feel connected to them is much harder.  

For Jodi and me one of our greatest blessings has been the abundance of true friends over the years.  It's kind of amazing really when you consider how often we have moved.  Frankly we are prime candidates for loneliness but just the opposite is true.  We have more close friends than we can keep up with.  We really do have an embarrassment of riches.

Wanna know our secret?  One word, church.  Even before we went into the ministry we were deeply involved in church and in Connection Groups.  The gospel has always pushed us to connect in meaningful ways with other believers.  When we were young, it was a connection group of young couples just starting out.  We laughed with and at each other.  We we got a little older we again bonded with people at the same stage of life.  At this stage in life we again find ourselves connected to folks that are doing what we are doing... launching kids into the real world, otherwise known as the empty nest.  

It is the friendships we made living life together that have sustained us over all these years.  In fact it seems to be coming full circle.  I look at the children of all our friends and I realize that our kids are now at the same stage of life that we were when we started our first Connection Group in our church.  Life goes by way to fast but we have been extraordinarily blessed with friends that are like family and you can too.

So let me encourage you to find the time in your crazy schedule to get into a connection group.  We have groups based on learning, Bible Study and sermons.  In addition to you can just spend time with good friends.  But I do have one caution.  Friends take time. 

Truth is you can't microwave friendship.  It is old fashion and can only be made from scratch.  Yes scratch is a lot of work but do you remember what homemade from scratch bread tastes like?  Hot out of the oven, overwhelming smell, soft inside.. then you add homemade jam... Yeah, worth it.  

Is getting connected and making real friends hard work?  Yep.  Does it take time you don't have? Yep.   Is it worth it... without a doubt.  Just like made-from-scratch bread satisfies in a way that store-bought cannot, real friendship satisfies the soul.  

Does legacy matter to you?

Does Legacy matter to you?  It didn't use to matter to me or at least I didn't think about it.  These days I think about it a fair amount.  I can't help but ask myself "will it matter that I was alive?"  Will I leave anything of true value to my children?  Will my core values be passed successfully to the next generation? 

What will be my Legacy is one of those questions that sneaks up on you.  We rarely think about it but once we do, it suddenly seems like a pretty important question.  Yet most people have put more energy and planning into assuring that their wealth goes to the next generation (A Will) than their values.  

In last Sunday's sermon we looked at the story of Lazarus and the Rich Man.  The disturbing part of the story was that the sin of the Rich Man was not that he did things wrong but that he did nothing at all.  

I can't help but wonder how often the same could be said about us.  We have successfully avoided doing wrong things but have failed at doing the right things.  

So what will be your legacy?  What are you doing to ensure your legacy?  What do you think is important to pass to the next generation?  What is your plan?