Do You Have A Favorite Sin?

What is your favorite sin?  What, you say?  Favorite sin, I (much like God) hate all sin!  Hmmm... What about gossip?  I think gossip is maybe the most beloved of sins.  In fact it is so popular that we work pretty hard at justifying it. We call it other things and pretend it is harmless or even helpful.   Yet despite our desire to minimize the destructive nature of our behavior the Bible clearly calls gossip sin and all sin is ultimately destructive to the person who participates as well as the innocent bystanders.

I was recently involved in a conversation with some folks who were sharing about this topic.  After we got past the usual sorts of things, a couple of people shared some genuine and thoughtful concerns about how to evaluate information that comes their way.  What should we pass on, to whom should we give it and when should we keep our mouths shut? 

That got me thinking.  Because I am a pastor I receive a LOT of negative personal information about people, most of it from the person themself.   Fortunately for me, it is not hard for me to keep confidential information confidential.   However, I know many genuinely grapple with what should and should not be shared.   (I also know some folks who so love this sin they really don’t care, but I can’t help them)

In an effort to help those who are honestly trying to do the right thing let me offer my reflections on where the line is with potentially negative information and our favorite sin, gossip.

1.       If the information is negative, sharing it is almost certainly gossip, error to the side of caution.

Most people don’t mind having positive information spread about them but even that has some limits.  They probably want to be the first to tell people they are... engaged, pregnant, had a baby, won an award, etc.  

Almost always, spreading negative information is an indulgence in the sin of gossip.  Couching it as a prayer request or concern for others isn't a “get out of jail free card” for committing this particular sin.  .  If the person has not authorized you to ask others to pray for them on this matter you are gossiping.  Justifying sin never works in God’s economy.

2.  If the truthfulness of the information is not verified by you, it is gossip and gossip is a sin.

This has to be the simplest test but the one everybody ignores.  I am constantly amazed at the distorted and often flat out wrong information that gets passed around, even after it has been made clear that the information is not true.  Don’t trust that the person who told you the information has verified it.  You check it out before passing it on.  It that is too much trouble, then don’t share it.  Without exception, negative information that is untrue is always gossip and gossip is a sin.

As a pastor, I am never bothered by the person who comes to me and says, I heard something and I wanted to check it out.  99% of the time it falls into one of three categories, untrue, distorted, or information that has not yet been released out of respect for innocent parties.   

Keep in mind; even if it is true, if it’s about someone other than you, it's still gossip.

3.  Who does the information belong to? 

In small groups, I have a rule.  No confessing other people’s sins.  (Spouses sometimes struggle with this)  No one wants to sit in a circle and have someone who has intimate knowledge of them share embarrassing information.  Truth be told, when we do this to others we are gossiping.  However, there are times when negative information about someone does not belong to them.  This usually falls under the heading of someone is a danger to someone else.

The classic example, now written into law, is information that someone is abusing a child in some way.  That information belongs to the child, not the abuser.  So passing that information to the proper authorities is not gossip.   Passing it to people other than the proper authorities is most certainly gossip. The key to this one is the two words proper authorities.  If you find out the guy driving the church van was caught driving drunk last week, I need to know about that, the rest of the world does not. 

4.  If you are not willing to get directly and substantially involved in working redemptively with the person and issue you are talking about, it is gossip.

Some folks justify sharing negative information with the line “so we can help” but they never seem to get around to actually helping.  On the other hand, for those who genuinely have “skin in the game” there is sometimes information that needs to be shared among those delivering the “sideways” grace and love.

Ask yourself this... Am I willing to commit my time, my money, and my other resources to help this person?  If you are, then do it... and skip the sharing with others. 

I have come to believe that gossip is one of the most evil and destructive sins.  I have seen lives ruined and people turned away from Christ because good church people gossiped about them.  I have seen churches split over false information that just would not go away because folks indulged the sin of gossip.  I have seen people turned bitter and angry because they believed false information they heard through gossip.  I would love to share some of those stories with you... but that would be gossip. 

It is my prayer that all who follow Jesus will strive to keep their lives clean from sin, maybe most especially from the sins we like.  I guess that is why they call it temptation, we want to do it! 

I think I may have had a religious experience at Rotary

The other day a member of my church very kindly took me with him to Rotary.  I’m looking for ways to get engaged in the community and this is a real possibility.  Honestly, I was expecting a nice meal, good conversation, and a mildly interesting speech of some sort.

Turns out that the food was excellent, the conversation was great but most surprising the speech spoke right to my heart.  (Not an easy thing for a pastor attending a Rotary club to admit!)  The speaker was Washington State Secretary of State Sam Reed.  Sam is retiring soon and has no plans on running for office again so he is in that rare place of being able to speak his mind without much in the way of filters.  Sam has also been in public service almost all his life and is a Republican.

 

I was expecting a speech about why we should vote and support Republican candidates.  No problem there is much good in the Republican Party.  I was rather stunned when instead he started to talk about the level of civility in public discourse.   He pulled out of his long history in politics and cited several examples of diametrically opposed parties finding a way to work it out and he even seemed to think compromise was not a swear word.   (In fact, he flat out said it was the foundation of democracy)

In the end he did something that almost made me fall off my chair.  He asked these Rotarians, all of them people of influence and resource, to challenge everyone who asked for their support to pledge to three things, civility, moderation, and bipartisanship.   There was a high-level political leader asking a group of high influence people to hold politicians to civility, moderation, and bi-partisanship?  I almost got woozy for a second. 

As we were pulling out of the parking lot my parishioner said something to the effect of ... imagine that, asking them to behave like adults!  I don’t normally give Amen’s outside of the church but I sure had the urge to do it right there in the car.   Frankly, I am often embarrassed by the behavior of so many politicians and pundits.  Really, I wouldn’t let my kids talk to people like that.

 

I’m probably going to get in trouble for this but I have pretty much banned politics in our church.  It’s not because of my party affiliation.  (Neither side wants me)  It’s not because I wouldn’t welcome the free exchange of ideas about how to make our country even greater than it already is, I would love that.  It is because when people start talking about politics they start acting like politicians and that is just embarrassing!   People have a tendency, even in the church to divide down party lines and view “the others” as somehow suspect and frankly we just can’t have that in the body of Christ.

 

One of the central themes of the early church was a call to unity.  They had all kinds of political and cultural dividing lines that represented a great opportunity for the evil one to separate them from each other.  Wisely, the early pastoral disciples called the churches to unity and love for each other.   In fact, the one new command Jesus gave us was Love each other!  Turns out that means you have to love folks who are in the other political party as well!

In the months ahead the noise around political discourse is going to only get louder.  I’m sure more people will tell me how important it is that we as a church lobby for people to vote this way or that.  In those moments I remind myself of the words of Jesus... My kingdom is not of this earth.   Should we divide His body over the kingdom of this world?    

The Importance of Doubting

A couple of weeks ago I preached about doubting.  Lots of people have talked with me about how important that sermon was to them.  I’ve done some more thinking about it, here is what I have been kicking around in my head.  You can find the sermon here

I read an article the other day that said one of the main reasons people stop going to church, not just change to another church but really stop going altogether, is that the people in the church don’t deal well with folks that have doubts.  Funny thing is, everybody has doubts.  I always find it somewhat humorous that some Christians feel a need to straighten out folks with doubts.  I mean really, doubt has a deep and proud tradition in the body of Christ.  In fact, I don’t think we can even call ourselves Christ-like unless we have doubts.  Frankly, even Jesus had some doubts.

Remember the whole thing on the cross?  My God, my God why have you forsaken me?  When I read this in the church I always want to stop right there and yell surprise!  There he is on the cross about to give his life.  He has been obedient to the father all his life and all of a sudden the father skips out and says, by the way, that whole dying thing?  You’re on your own.  It sounds like a pretty big doubt to me.   More disturbing is that this isn’t an onetime isolated incident that can be overlooked.  Just a few hours earlier he was doing some major doubting.   Remember the garden prayer?

Turns out, Jesus was not entirely sold on the father’s plan.   The Craig Laughlin version goes like... Father, this whole dying on the cross thing...  um...  if there is a plan “B” could we explore that option now?   Crosses are a pretty tough way to go. 

Okay now I’m going to get myself in trouble but it seems to me that to not have doubts is a sign that one is delusional, not being truthful with themself or hasn’t thought about their faith very much.   To say I have no doubts is to imply one has an unshakable answer for every question.  Really?  Come hang out with me I’ve got some questions that make my head hurt. 

 

Okay, I’m going to push it a little further.  It just seems to me that to have faith one must have doubts.  In fact, having all the answers is in some ways the opposite of faith.   Faith is not the ability to control our circumstances or resolve every issue.  It is choosing to trust God even when the road ahead is as terrifying, kind of like crosses and dying alone. 

When I was in college we used to talk about having to take a Leap of Faith.  That is where doubting comes in.  Doubting is what reveals the gap that faith must leap over.  It just seems to me that folks who profess to have no doubts probably don’t have much faith either.  It seems to me that they have substituted self-assurance for faith.  Even Jesus needed faith to leap over the gaps.  I think I have decided that faith is about trusting the father even when I can’t figure it all out. 

Could it be that the most faith-filled words Jesus spoke were not about making blind people see and lame people walk?  What if the most faith-filled words Jesus spoke were into your hand I commit my spirit and not my will but yours be done. 

I have to admit I have more doubts than Jesus did, but then they crucified him.  Besides at least I am in good company.   Oh, if you are a doubter welcome to my world and by the way, you’re welcome at my church.  Let’s do coffee, talk about our doubts, and share what we have learned.

By His Grace,