Do You Have A Favorite Sin?

What is your favorite sin?  What, you say?  Favorite sin, I (much like God) hate all sin!  Hmmm... What about gossip?  I think gossip is maybe the most beloved of sins.  In fact it is so popular that we work pretty hard at justifying it. We call it other things and pretend it is harmless or even helpful.   Yet despite our desire to minimize the destructive nature of our behavior the Bible clearly calls gossip sin and all sin is ultimately destructive to the person who participates as well as the innocent bystanders.

I was recently involved in a conversation with some folks who were sharing about this topic.  After we got past the usual sorts of things, a couple of people shared some genuine and thoughtful concerns about how to evaluate information that comes their way.  What should we pass on, to whom should we give it and when should we keep our mouths shut? 

That got me thinking.  Because I am a pastor I receive a LOT of negative personal information about people, most of it from the person themself.   Fortunately for me, it is not hard for me to keep confidential information confidential.   However, I know many genuinely grapple with what should and should not be shared.   (I also know some folks who so love this sin they really don’t care, but I can’t help them)

In an effort to help those who are honestly trying to do the right thing let me offer my reflections on where the line is with potentially negative information and our favorite sin, gossip.

1.       If the information is negative, sharing it is almost certainly gossip, error to the side of caution.

Most people don’t mind having positive information spread about them but even that has some limits.  They probably want to be the first to tell people they are... engaged, pregnant, had a baby, won an award, etc.  

Almost always, spreading negative information is an indulgence in the sin of gossip.  Couching it as a prayer request or concern for others isn't a “get out of jail free card” for committing this particular sin.  .  If the person has not authorized you to ask others to pray for them on this matter you are gossiping.  Justifying sin never works in God’s economy.

2.  If the truthfulness of the information is not verified by you, it is gossip and gossip is a sin.

This has to be the simplest test but the one everybody ignores.  I am constantly amazed at the distorted and often flat out wrong information that gets passed around, even after it has been made clear that the information is not true.  Don’t trust that the person who told you the information has verified it.  You check it out before passing it on.  It that is too much trouble, then don’t share it.  Without exception, negative information that is untrue is always gossip and gossip is a sin.

As a pastor, I am never bothered by the person who comes to me and says, I heard something and I wanted to check it out.  99% of the time it falls into one of three categories, untrue, distorted, or information that has not yet been released out of respect for innocent parties.   

Keep in mind; even if it is true, if it’s about someone other than you, it's still gossip.

3.  Who does the information belong to? 

In small groups, I have a rule.  No confessing other people’s sins.  (Spouses sometimes struggle with this)  No one wants to sit in a circle and have someone who has intimate knowledge of them share embarrassing information.  Truth be told, when we do this to others we are gossiping.  However, there are times when negative information about someone does not belong to them.  This usually falls under the heading of someone is a danger to someone else.

The classic example, now written into law, is information that someone is abusing a child in some way.  That information belongs to the child, not the abuser.  So passing that information to the proper authorities is not gossip.   Passing it to people other than the proper authorities is most certainly gossip. The key to this one is the two words proper authorities.  If you find out the guy driving the church van was caught driving drunk last week, I need to know about that, the rest of the world does not. 

4.  If you are not willing to get directly and substantially involved in working redemptively with the person and issue you are talking about, it is gossip.

Some folks justify sharing negative information with the line “so we can help” but they never seem to get around to actually helping.  On the other hand, for those who genuinely have “skin in the game” there is sometimes information that needs to be shared among those delivering the “sideways” grace and love.

Ask yourself this... Am I willing to commit my time, my money, and my other resources to help this person?  If you are, then do it... and skip the sharing with others. 

I have come to believe that gossip is one of the most evil and destructive sins.  I have seen lives ruined and people turned away from Christ because good church people gossiped about them.  I have seen churches split over false information that just would not go away because folks indulged the sin of gossip.  I have seen people turned bitter and angry because they believed false information they heard through gossip.  I would love to share some of those stories with you... but that would be gossip. 

It is my prayer that all who follow Jesus will strive to keep their lives clean from sin, maybe most especially from the sins we like.  I guess that is why they call it temptation, we want to do it!