Remember... from July 13, 2014

NOTE - I wrote most of this post several years back as my mother's life was coming to a close.  Today she is with Jesus and no longer suffers and remembers everything.  

My mother is sinking into the black hole of forgetfulness.   For some time now she has had a form of dementia/Alzheimer's/whatever.  She can no longer remember her husband of nearly 50 years, her daughter who passed away recently, her siblings, or even that I am her son.  Most of the time, she thinks I'm her brother and sometimes her husband. 

In her day my mother was one of those bright lights that showed the way for others.  In a time when most women stayed at home, she earned a college degree and had a professional career. She often hid her diploma because people gave her a hard time because she was a college-educated woman. During her career, she racked up an impressive list of accomplishments.  She was a leader during most of her career and an example all of her life.  She was by any standard an extremely strong and accomplished woman.  Sadly that well-lived life of significance has been stripped away simply because she can no longer remember. 

As I have watched her sink into the darkness  I have become painfully aware that what my mom has lost is herself.  Turns out remembering is how we know who we are. After a lifetime of dedicated service to others she suddenly feels worthless, disconnected, and without purpose. She can no longer remember all the good she did for so many people and how very many love her and appreciate the investment she made in their lives. She spent a lifetime building the memories that should bring her, comfort, joy, and deep relationship with others at this final stage of life.  Instead, she is engulfed in a black hole, cut off from the memories that made her who she is or maybe was. 

In those painful moments when she is lucid enough to understand that she can't remember anything I find myself saying to her... It's alright mom, I'll remember for you.   - It's hard. 

My mom's journey into forgetting has given me new insight into Jesus' words at the Last Supper.   During this important meal, Jesus said something that I used to think of as a throwaway line but now I understand to be the truth that ties it all together... every time you do this, remember me.  (Craig Laughlin version) At the very heart of Christianity is the business of remembering.  Remembering what God has done for us, remembering how much He loves us, remembering who we are in him.  When we forget those things, we lose our true identity as surely as dementia stripped my mother of her identity.  

What Jesus knew, which I think we forget, is that our memory is what makes us who we are.  You and I are the sum of the things we have done in life, both good and bad.  Each thing has formed us in some way.  Remembering those experiences and what we learned from them is what makes us who we are today.  

Just like remembering is crucial to who we are as a person remembering what God has done for us is critical to understanding who we are spiritually.  Strangely, this includes remembering the bad things.  When I come to the Lord's table I am painfully reminded of my own sins and shortcomings.  I remember the pain those sins created in my life and far too often the lives of people who I love and love me. I remember that I don't' ever want to go back to that place.  Most of all I remember that God in Christ gave me forgiveness, repentance, reconciliation, and welcomed me into his family with open arms.  I also remember how grateful I am for Jesus. Interestingly, one of the names for communion is Eucharist, which means thanksgiving. 

Communion reminds me of how God's story invaded and transformed my story.  Truth is, without God's work in my life I would be a very different person. When I look over my life and I see all the times God corrected or redirected me, I can't help but be thankful for his guidance protection over me.  Without his intervention, I would be a disaster. 

Another thing I remember is that because of God's work in Jesus I have been able to embrace my true identity.  Verse 26 of the very first chapter in the bible contains these important words

26 Then God said, “Let us make humanity in our image, in our likeness...

This is in many ways the most amazing verse in the Bible.  God created humanity in his image and likeness.  At our core, we are family with God.  We share his DNA. Yes, many are alienated from the family, believing themselves to be orphans in a vast universe of nothingness, but God begs to differ.  We are created intentionally to be daughters and sons of the living God. Now that is worth remembering! 

When Jesus told us "do this remembering me" he wasn't talking about a casual memory that pops up or trying to rack our brain for a forgotten password.  He was talking about actively, intentionally calling to mind all that He has done for us, where we would be without him, and whose we are.  This is why we celebrate the Lord's Table on a regular basis in worship. It is the church's way of prodding you to actively remember who you are and give thanks!  For if we dare forget, we will find ourselves with Spiritual Dementia. Remember.